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I'm SO with you. And I like your normal friend the best.
And now I have a mental image of a Little Ashley crawling around in my head. I'm not sure if that's cute or creepy.
Anyway, here's hoping you find the balance. And here's hoping I do too :)
I think I keep sane by telling myself that I am "young" and I can endure long hours now & when it's time for family that will change drastically.
Another thing - I end up getting VERY little sleep trying to do everything but I love it. So when I come home from work at 6pm I'll stay up at least another 5 hours and get up and play before work for at least 2 hours...making work and play almost equal.
One last thing - I TOTALLY would get the guilty feeling...but you know what? They (our bosses) get paid A LOT more so that is how I rationalize it. I also get anxious asking for vacay days....I'm still working on this one. Luckily I've had excuses to take them (weddings, graduations, etc.).
Wow, that was long. Anyways, this is so random but I love your blog. It always speaks volumes to me. xo
It's hard but as long as you have a plan in mind it's not so horrible.
Also, regarding that "she who works the most hours" idea.. I'm one of the top performers at my job, but I'm also the one who rarely actually comes in on the weekends (I work from home in my pjs in that case), have never pulled an all-nighter (there are some idiots at my work who actually think that is a good idea), and will leave at 5 if I'm slow on work. In the end the things that matter most: a great attitude, quickness in grasping concepts, and efficiency. If you have all your work done, then do not feel obligated to stay. It will be better for you in the long run because you don't want to get burned out, especially unnecessarily.
I think the corporate world needs to realize that work has changed and so should their workforce. Having us chained to our desks 5 days a week is rather unnecessary and frustrating. Remote workforces are happier. Hell, I'd even take a bit of a pay cut if I could work from home one or two days a week!
Plus, I think it depends on your passion. I've figured out that I don't have ONE passion for ONE thing, which is why I could never be a doctor or have a job where my time is consumed by working on that one thing. I want a job where I have the freedom to explore ALL of my interests. I think that diversity of interests is also unique to our generation--it seems like, up until now, you're expected to be ONE thing when you grow up, and that's how you're identified. Today, it seems like more of us are along the lines of, "I work as a full-time X but I'm also working on X in my free time, and when I'm doing that I also really like doing X, X, and X." Personally, I think this is a great thing, but it is definitely hard making it work in a society that seems to want you to done just one of those X's.
in fact, that last photo/quote gave me little tears in my eyes. i want so badly to not have to "work" so much. i seriously hate it. but... i realize that only i can change that, so i am starting to put extra effort in to making plans so that i don't have to work full time FOREVER. it may be hard now, but i'm *hoping* it will pay off in the long run!
enjoy your weekend :)
Hang in there!
In September, I quit my high-stress, soul-sucking "career" and went back to school to become a certified massage therapist. I'm now working a part-time job that just barely covers the bills.
And I can't remember the last time I've been this happy.
It took me two years working in a job I hated to figure out what I really wanted to do, and how I could go about doing it.
There is hope!!!
I have time to clean the house and make dinners and all that stuff but there are sacrifices involved as well. My husband has the crappy way too much work at a crappy job for way too little money and he comes home unhappy everyday. We struggle with money and don't have enough to buy the food we really would like to have. We have another week before either of us get's paid and we have $7 to our names and two more nights of good dinners that probably won't make any leftovers.
I struggle with the fact that I could fix these money issues a bit by going out there and getting a normal job but then we would both be miserable all the time and where would that get us. I think no matter what you do there is always a balance struggle. I absolutely love my job and it is my dream job but I still think I should be doing something else and I feel guilty when I am at home relaxing and I keep getting texts of all the BS my husband is dealing with at work.
For now things are like this and one day we will get somewhere, I hope.
I know that when I finish school next year (fingers crossed..) I'll have to, but working 4 days a week seems way, way more humane to me.
Lets you and I move to France, ok? I would really appreciate that.
Although I'm employed part-time at a soul-sucking job, it does provide me the kind of balance I LOVE. (3 days working, 4 days off)
I think there's a part of me that's afraid of getting a "grown-up" job because I know that my ideal balance will be shifted.
I had a professor once who said that he found the question, "What do you do?" odd. "Well, I do a lot of things," he said to us, but clearly what people mean is "How do you make money?" We're caught between not wanting to be our jobs exclusively and knowing that this is how the world around us identifies us.
I don't think you are a whiner, and I think you deserve a life outside of work. We all deserve this--even medical students and your dad. We all deserve a satisfying and balanced life. I do not for one second believe that this is simply what it's like to be an adult. Some adults choose to live this kind of life (even your dad) for whatever reason, and they make the most of it, but it's not the only way. I know you love your job, but you deserve time for yourself too. If you're afraid of doing this for yourself, then remind yourself that you're a role model now. Young women are looking at you and seeing what a professional woman is. Would you want them to feel this way about their lives?
I hated working. I still feel guilty saying I hated working. I knew I wanted to stay home with my kids and I would go through these tremendous guilt trips (IN MY OWN HEAD) about whether I only wanted to have kids so I could justify not working. Isn't that awful? IT IS AWFUL.
A few years later I realize that I DO like working, I just like working at home, for myself, on my own schedule. Which is totally spoiled, right? See, I have the same problem. I am no help. GAH.
my new theory- my husband is so amazing that i need more time around him. maybe if i had a less perfect spouse, i could handle more work.
if i didn't call you today, i meant to you. you should see "Away We Go." It's out on Netflix now.
It does seem ludicrous sitting here now realizing I drove 15 miles an hour to get here and do this work that I most definitely am able to do at my dining room table...and did 110% plus plus plus for more than 8 years.
I agree with all you said. There has to be a better way. And when you have a child/children, the hours are just that much more precious and there isn't enough time.
I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't do it like this much longer.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU. Did the CD you listened to give you anything beyond encouragement that your thoughts are not unique? I feel stuck in a rut.
Lucille
I tend to agree with you, that the normal friend had the right answer, and that I, too, was definitely not built for a 9-5 x 5 workweek.
I have no advice, though. :( I'm searching, too.